Autistic Spectrum Disorder

Stuart Bechman is a business analyst who "self-diagnosed" as being on the autistic spectrum only ten years ago. Despite demonstrating in high school and college that he was bright, accomplished, and capable, he struggled with personal and professional relationships and job situations throughout his adult life.  It seemed to him that he had a "talent" for “ticking people off" without any idea why.  Just prior to turning 40, Stuart finally found a stable and enduring relationship to a woman who became a high school teacher. A few years into teaching, she suggested that he appeared to display many aspects of something called autism. After a fair amount of reading and even some therapy, he came to agree with her assessment.  Since then, he has striven to better understand how his autism has contributed to his life's travails and to reach out and provide advice to others on the spectrum.
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I was the oldest of 3 brothers. My childhood was generally tranquil and my parents ensured that I was regularly engaged in social activities such as Little League Baseball, Y-Indian Guides and Boy Scouting as well as developing a proficiency in music.  But despite these activities, I grew up as somewhat of a loner, finding little in common with my peers and preferring to spend time with books and personal projects.

I was a very bright student in school who took every high school AP class available to me, graduating in the top 1% of my class. I was quite ambitious and interested in the world, and imagined living a successful life, making an impact in whatever I chose to do. I went to college, completing my college undergraduate work in 3 years and earning a double Bachelor's degree in Accounting and Computer Science before then earning a Master's degree in Management Information Systems.  I was only 20 years old by the time I graduated from college and started his career.

Despite these academic successes and a promising future, I soon found unexpected obstacles in dealing with personal and professional colleagues. In college, I found it unexpectedly difficult to connect or find common interests with other students.  After a lonely first year, I joined a college fraternity at the suggestion of my parents. But here, too, I seemed to attract little more than derision and antagonism from my frat brothers; I eventually withdrew from the fraternity after a group of them cornered and beat me for an unspecified transgression. It seemed that I had a "talent" in arousing hostility among both my male and female peers in college without any idea why.

After college, my alienation continued into my professional life. Despite my knowledge and training, I was involuntarily and unexpectedly terminated from my first couple of jobs. I began working as a temporary / contract worker, which I came to prefer because it seemed there were less ambiguous job expectations and fewer social irritations. Despite believing that I had an abundance of attractive qualities, romantic relationships were few and far between, often ending before they really got started, and usually without much explanation.  I suffered through long stretches of depression during this period of my life.

Late in my 4th decade, several years into my relationship with Jeanie and after she had switched career path from software developer to high school math teacher, she became aware of a mental / psychological condition called Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD). She provided me with a book about the condition and suggested that I might read it and consider whether I might see any similarities with my own situation. The book did, indeed, resonate with me; and I began to reassess my life history to consider whether this was the "vague disorder" that I felt had burdened me my entire life.  At Jeanie's suggestion, I began participating in therapy with a counselor who specialized n ASD children to further my investigation.